~ journal ~


dreams: I and several other people (Bill Koratos? Orson?) go to a club in Montreal at which Keanu Reeves is performing a variety act. he sings, shows off kung fu moves, etc. it is all very bad, the cynical publicity stunt of a washed-up actor. but after the show is over, he comes to the bar, seemingly divorced from his movie star persona, just trying to blend in. Orson exchanges a few words with him ("How's it going?" "All right, I guess."), but as soon as I betray knowledge of his career by telling him I really liked The Matrix, he says, "Yeah, thanks, whatever..." and wanders off.

Part II. now I am at some kind of athletic camp, learning the sport of X (basketball? bicycling?). Keanu is there as well, and I decide I will try to get to know him. I cannot appear to admire him. I must be subtle. eventually I succeed with dry, understated humor that he subtly gravitates toward. in crowds of people we tend to be near one another. we enjoy one another's company and it seems that we are headed for a closer relationship but (ellipsis)

Part III. we are on the run from the cops. we have been separated. I am searching for Keanu, ducking in and out of bike shops, hiding in stock rooms, going through back doors, etc. always keeping my eyes peeled for my pursuers. I meet up with him just as the police are closing in, but at the last moment they become oddly distracted and we are able to run off down the side of the highway. time passes. we are now less concerned about being caught and more focused on getting out of the rain and finding something to eat. climbing up the embankment and through a belt of pines we enter a neighborhood of nice-looking homes and begin casing them out, trying to decide which might be uninhabited and safe to break into. turning back towards the road I now see a river valley, somewhat flooded. Keanu's voice, disembodied like a sound track, tells the history of the valley and explains that the river has claimed many lives because it looks shallow, but is really full of loose sand that treacherously shifts under people's feet and sucks them in until they drown. now I am in Keanu's body and the former me looks like Trinity from The Matrix. looking back, I notice that she has disappeared. alarmed, I duck around the front of the house and find her, turned toward me, apparently looking at me, but unresponsive. I realize with shock that she has fallen into the river and her lungs are full of water. I take hold of her (she is now the size of a doll) and desperately shake and slap her back and breathe into her lungs – but there is no response. now she's even smaller, with a wooden rectangular torso. I open the torso from the back and find only some dried straw inside. she is dead, I think as I close it again. as I think this, everything goes black and I hear a decisive snap as I, in turn, am shut inside a giant wooden box.

~ I wake up ~

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